The Monday Roast: Smart Cars

1.  Why would I buy half a car for the price of one?  Boom, roasted.

2.  If you drive your Porsche to work and drive your smart car to buy groceries then you're not making a difference.  Boom, roasted.

3.  Global warming sucks, but so does being hit by a truck while you're driving your golf cart.  Boom, roasted.

4.  Maybe if flowers and trees came out of the exhaust pipe--like the Prius--your sales would be better.  Boom, roasted.

5.  Since when is driving a shoe box smart?  Boom, roasted.

The Monday Roast: FBI: Female Body Inspector Shirts

1.  No, you don't.  Boom, roasted.

2.  Why don't you go ahead and tear the sleeves off too.  Boom, roasted.

3.  If you indeed have a significant other, buy her the matching "I'm with stupid" tee.  Boom, roasted.

4.  Unfortunately, there is not a governmental agency abbreviated ITD so you can have the more appropriate shirt: "I'm a Total Douche."  Boom, roasted.

5.  And now we know you've been to Vegas and/or Cabo.  Boom, roasted.