The Monday Roast: Cyclists' Excuses

1.  You sleep in a hyperbaric chamber and train in a wind tunnel but you "accidentally ingested an illegal substance?"  Boom, roasted.

2.  Everyone assumes you're on drugs anyway, so quit wasting our time.  Boom, roasted.

3.  Now you all will be synonymous with Floyd "The creepiest effing excuse maker ever" Landis.  Boom, roasted.

4.  Unless there is a one-nut American battling back from cancer and backed by a ubiquitous Nike marketing campaign, you're irrelevant.  Boom, roasted.

5.  There's more money in baseball and the powers-that-be care far less.  Boom, roasted.