The Monday Roast: That Pitcher From Sunday's Softball Game

1. Let go of the dream. There were no, and will never be, scouts at the freezing cold and overgrown Presidio field. Boom, roasted.
2. Mix in a salad. Boom, roasted.
3. Talking trash to girls - or anyone for that matter - at a coed beer league is always cool. Oh wait. No, it's not. Boom, roasted.
4. You're not even a has been. You're a never was. (And unlike Gordon Bombay, you will never lead an inner-city hockey team named "The Mighty Ducks" to any championships. Not even if you have Adam Banks). Boom, roasted.
5. Run to first. It'd be good for ya. Boom, roasted.