1. Anything that can be programmed into an automated message can be written on a website.
2. I shouldn't have to enter the last four digits of my social; say my address; and enter the name of my favorite pet; my date of birth; and mother's maiden name before I'm given the privilege of talking to a human being.
3. If you spend five minutes answering questions from a robot, you shouldn't be put on hold for fifteen minutes more before answering the same questions from a person.
4. Must you really put an automated message in my way when your contact information is only discoverable by following an inconspicuous link, to an obscure web page, where your number can only be found in a drop down menu labeled "More Information"?
5. I would rather talk to Nadir from Mumbai.
Boom, roasted.
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