Friday, December 11, 2009

Old School, Smash Mouth, Rhetorical Bull Crap

In the final week before bowl selections, bowl season and individual awards I found myself watching the game of the weak: the Big East showdown between the "revived" Pittsburgh Panthers and the now Brian Kellyless Cincinnati Bearcats. It was a very exciting game--no way around it.

But there was also no way to avoid the battle cry of all beleaguered East Coast/Midwest teams: "We're not some new aged offense, we just play old school football" (or some variation thereof), referring to an interview with Dave Wannstedt taken before the game.

At any rate that set me off...

There is nothing that gets older than listening to squeaky wheels drone on about how they're playing football the way it was meant to be played: old school, running, smash mouth, simple, field position. You know, none of this new aged, Pac 10, double option, athlete at quarterback crap. Who would want speed on offense when we could have corn fed white boys pushing up the field and eating the clock. 'Did you see that 7-6 ball game the other day? What a dandy, I love that old school brand of football.' Give. Me. A. Damned. Break!

You know what I take? I take athletes at every position and speed, speed, speed. I don't care how may field goals Jim Tressel teams kick, Jeremiah Masoli is going to eat his team alive and Terrelle Pryor will be left to wonder what could have been in this years installment of the Big 10's Woes Bowl. Every year people get excited about Big 10 defenses matching up with Pac-10 offenses. Enough! Every team that played in the Big 10 would put up great defensive numbers and so would any college team that played high school teams (except Washington State--sorry Cougs).

I don't care how old school you are, even old schoolers play to win: Since 2002/2003 the Pac-10 has gone 22-11 in bowl games and the Big 10 has gone 15-28. Ohio State has been invited to the BCS National Championship twice in the past 5 years and lost by a combined 41 points. Put your "old school brand" back in the closet with your wooden golf clubs. Even Florida got a quarterback who can run!

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