McCarver 'Caps: MNF Jets-Patriots

A recap of the Monday Night Football game between the Jets and the Patriots, in the words of Tim McCarver...  

Although one player resembled Broadway Joe last night, he was not playing for the Jets.  For those of you that don't know, Joe Namath had the nickname Broadway Joe, and played for AFL New York Jets.  He also had long hair, and if you looked carefully last night, you would see that Tom Brady had long hair as well.  However, Brady plays for the Patriots, so obviously he cannot play for the Jets, but with the Jets on the field and with Brady's long hair, I was reminded of Broadway Joe

The reason I make that comparison is because Broadway Joe was a great football player with long hair who played in cold climates, just like Brady.  If you ask any great cold climate quarterback the secret to their success, which I have, they will tell you that keeping your hands warm is the key.  But what you may not know is that blowing on your hands help to keep your hands warm in cold climates.  Now, if you watch Brady closely, you can see that he consistently blows on his hands like other great cold climate quarterbacks.  Obviously, the reason he does this is to keep his hands warm.

As I watched the game last night I noticed that Brady blew on his hands an average of 3.6 times per play.  Interestingly, Mark SanCHEZ--the quarterback for the New York Jets--only blew on his hands an average of 2.7 times per play.  Not surprisingly, Brady was able to make four touchdown passes while SanCHEZ didn't manage any.

After the game I asked Brady whether blowing on his hands made a difference in his play--he said he wasn't sure.  But if you look carefully at the stats, which I have, you can tell that the quarterback who blew on his hands more had greater success in the cold weather last night.    I can't be sure if this is significant, but it is obviously no coincidence. The reason I can be certain this is no coincidence is because when you compare all the great quarterbacks' ratio of hand blows to plays, adjusted for average temperature on their home field, they average 3.57 which is nearly the same as Tom Brady's average of 3.6.  

When I asked Rex Ryan whether he thought his quarterback should blow on his hands more, he told me that I should blow him.  I don't think he understood what I was saying, then again his team scored three points, and Tom Brady's team scored 45, so maybe he should blow me.

In Tim McCarver's Words: Game Five

This World Series was clinched with a Giant performance, by a small man.  Tim Lincecum stands just five feet and eleven inches tall.  He weighs just one-hundred and seventy pounds.  But he casts the shadow of a giant with his changeup that Bruce Bochy calls a changeup, definitely not a splitter, but I definitely think it looks like a splitter and acts like a splitter but its a changeup.  Must be his hands.

And it was a giant victory for a small city.  Just seven miles by seven miles, San Francisco is a small city.  But today it is a Giant city.  The baseball Giants that is. 

And it was a giant victory for a group far from gigantic.  Misfits and outcasts they called themselves.  They can now call themselves the giant Giants of the giant trophy of baseball.  They've accomplished a big thing despite their little resume.

They overcame giant odds.  Cliff Lee had been a giant World Series pitcher, twice beating the New York Yankees last year and pitching dominantly throughout this playoffs.  If the the little team that could from San Francisco who is ironically called the Giants were indeed to win this World Series, they were going to have to do their best Jack and the Giant Bean Stock to slay the giant arm of Cliff and bat of Josh.  What an ironic analogy!  The team that had to slay the giant was called the Giants.

How fitting.

In Tim McCarver's Words: Game Four

No one could have predicted that a rookie named Madison from Lenoir, North Carolina would be pitching in a pivotal World Series game.  Of course, who was to know that this spring Buster Posey and Bengie Molina who were together, would be apart in the World Series.  But in a post season few could have predicted such scenarios seemed fitting for an unseasonably warm Halloween night.

The night began with two Georges; two former presidents; a father; and a son throwing out the first pitch.  Although that may seem like a lot of people, it really isn't because the former presidents were also the father and son and both were named George--President George H. Bush, and President George W. Bush.  So you see, it was actually just two men throwing out the first pitch in Arlington on this Halloween night.

The night ended in the Rangers being shutout for the second night in a row.  You might wonder why I mention that it was the second shut out in a row.  The reason I mention that is because there had not been consecutive shutouts in the World Series since 1966, when the Baltimore Orioles swept the Los Angeles Dodgers.  That may not seem significant to some, but in baseball years 1966 is a long time ago.

Clearly the Rangers are not hitting well this series, but the reason the Rangers aren't hitting is because the Giants are pitching.  You see, although the Rangers are only hitting .172 in the World Series, that also means the Giants' are only allowing opponents to hit .172 in the World Series as well.  Obviously that is not just a coincidence.

I think if you asked Ron Washington whether this was a must win game, which I have, he probably would say yes.  Unfortunately for Ron, and the Rangers, it was the Giants' Madison Bumgarner becoming the first rookie pitcher to record a win in the world series since the great Latin American pitcher named Fernando.

In Tim McCarver's Words: Game Three

If home is where the heart is, it's actually where the run is.  There were four homeRUNS hit in game three.  Arlington has always been a homerun hitter's park, but this is it's first World Series.  Things did not change, for baseball's biggest stage.

If Texas Rangers pitcher Colby Lewis had a dog or family member named Todo, he would have to say, "Todo, we're not in Japan anymore."  That's because he's NOT in Japan anymore.  But just one year ago he was.  He now finds himself pitching in the World Series, the San Francisco Giants playing the role of Wicked Witch of the West, Lewis is just like Dorothy, leaving Japan.

And Saturday night's Dorothy did not get swept away in the tornado that is the World Series.  He threw the ball very, very well.  Colby slayed the Giants.

San Francisco starter, Jonathan Sanchez, pitched better than he did in his last outing - game 6 of the NLCS - but it appears his small hands are catching up to him.  You see, Sanchez has small hands and it makes it difficult for him to throw his slider effectively.  Hand size is imperative to breaking ball ability.  If we were taking the PSAT, that is the Pitching Sanchez Accuracy Test, one question could be

Hands : Breaking Balls :: Breasts : ___?_____

The answer, obviously, is Chicken Sandwiches.  Bigger hands, better breaking ball.  Bigger chicken breast, better chicken sandwich.

Also obvious: Mitch Moreland and Josh Hamilton have no regard for Sanchez's slider slingers.  If you've never heard the term "slider slingers" it's ok.  It's a baseball term people use to reference hand size and the subsequent ability to throw a breaking pitch.. 

But back at home, the Rangers showed they meant business, and that they too can win baseball games, as they proved 90 times during the regular season.  And three time against the Rays and four times against the Yankees.

In Tim McCarver's Words: Game Two

The biblical tale of Cain and Abel held true Thursday night in San Francisco as Matt Cain was able.  Very able.  That is, able to get the Texas Rangers out.  One man who won't soon become a member of the Church of Cain, Josh Hamilton, used the bible to overcome substance abuse.

The early theme Thursday was zeroes.  As in no runs scored.  Cain and Rangers starter CJ Wilson were up to the challenge of world series pressure.  Like rice-a-roni, Thursday was a San Francisco treat.

The game nearly saw its first run when Ian Kinsler hit an 0-2 fastball deep to centerfield.  Tracking the ball far over his head, I was reminded of the Say Hey Kid, but it was Andres Torres, not Willie Mays.  Kinsler's ball hit the top of the fence and came back into the field!  A let.  As in, a tennis serve that strikes the top of the net.  Kinsler was playing doubles.  As in, his homerun turned into a double.

If baseball is a game of consistency, then the Rangers are indeed consistent but for the wrong reasons.  For the second straight night, the Rangers gave up a big inning, allowing the Giants to score a giant amount of runs in the eighth inning.  Baseball is a numbers game, and the Giants scored seven runs, in the eighth inning, for nine total runs.  Seven plus eight plus nine equals a Giants win.

There's an old baseball adage: the team that wins....scores more runs....than their opponent....who scored fewer runs....but they tried hard.  Indeed the Giants have the keys to success.

In Tim McCarver's Words: Game One

Due to Tim McCarver's unique ability to unintelligibly deliver useless information about baseball he was hired by Fox as a sportscaster in 1996 to cover marquee baseball games, the playoffs and the World Series.  In a tribute to Tim's ability, the Homers will be recapping each game of the 2010 World Series in Tim McCarver's words. 



The game began with Elvis.  The reason I say that is because Elvis was the lead off batter for the Texas Rangers.  The Rangers were the visiting team so they bat first.  Interestingly, this was the first Elvis to ever play in the World Series, but it wasn't Elvis Aaron, it was Elvis Agosto, not from Tupelo but from Maracay--Venezuela.  The game ended with Brian Wilson, but it wasn't a beach boy it was a pirate with a gnarled, intimidating black beard.

The game figured to be a classic pitching duel between Cliff Lee and Tim Lincecum.  The reason I say that is because Cliff Lee is a very, very good pitcher who chews up bats with his slider--like Mariano Rivera, one of the great bat breakers in the history of the game.  Also, Tim Lincecum is also a very, very good pitcher who is known for his unusual, uncomfortable looking pitching style.  Though he is known for his fastball, he also has a great change up, though change ups are much better for Lincecum when they go down.  So you can see why most people would have thought this was going to be a low scoring game dominated by pitching.

However, it was not.  This game was more about hitting and very alert at bats.  The Giants offense exploded for 11 runs--7 of them coming off the previously undefeatable Cliff Lee.  Freddy Sanchez led the way with 4 hits and 3 doubles, which interestingly, was exactly 3 times as many doubles as Cliff Lee had in the game.  I was reminded of the great Puerto Rican, Roberto Clemente.  The reason I say that is because Roberto Clemente wore the number 21 and so does Freddy Sanchez.  But unlike Roberto Clemente, Freddy Sanchez's number is retired at Burbank High School.  If you ask Freddy, which I have, he is very proud of that because of all the movie stars that went to Burbank High.

If you asked the Rangers if they thought seven runs would be enough to get a victory behind Cliff Lee, I think they probably would have said yes.  But tonight they needed more great ABs by Josh, the great power hitter from Texas who has a 10 point buck mounted over his locker. Or maybe the Rangers needed more big hits by Vladimir, whose very long, strong arms allow him to be one of the great bad ball contact hitters of all time.  
In the end, the Giants prevailed because they scored more runs than the Rangers.  Luckily for the Rangers the World Series is not about cumulative runs and they will have a clean slate tonight when they face Matt Cain--the big boy from Alabama with the rocket arm and dancing slider.